I Know What I Want

This feels like an odd post to write, but it’s definitely something that’s on my mind a lot. A lot of people around my age don’t know what they want to do with their lives, or what they want out of them, and they don’t know what sort of people they want in their lives. And the thing is, I do.

And that can be quite isolating.

I know that I want a career, and I know what I want that career to be centred around. I know which sort of people I want in my life, and which I don’t – and I find it easy to read people, so it doesn’t take me long to realise if someone I meet is somebody I want to be around.

I know that I’m okay with working hard for the things that I want – I actually like working hard to achieve my goals. I know I’m not a party animal, and that I don’t have to be. I know that I don’t want to use Tinder, as much as it often feels like I’m the only person my age who feels that way.

The only issue, I find, is that most of the people I see in my day-to-day life don’t feel the same way. From my experience, at university, the guys I meet are far more likely to just be boasting about their drunken conquests, with no direction and no aims. Often, the girls aren’t much different. Pretty much everyone looks at you like you’re a weirdo when they find out you don’t drink alcohol. And a significant portion of people are reluctant to do the work necessary to achieve their goals – if they have any.

It’s a laugh for many people I see if they only turn up to one hour of lectures in a week, because they only came to experience the ‘student life’, whereas I came to university because I wanted to study. I wanted to learn about things I didn’t know about before, and build my knowledge base. Lectures and seminars and reading are the reasons I came to university, not the nightlife. I came so I could experience living somewhere else and meeting new people – but even meeting new people is hard after everyone’s settled in in first year.

You get people wondering and asking why you don’t have a relationship yet. Some people thrust Tinder and a billion other dating apps in your face. They talk about how they met their partners after six beers in a bar in the early hours. And for someone who doesn’t want to meet somebody that way, that idea doesn’t particularly appeal. I know people whose relationships have only ever started in a state of inebriation, and I can’t help but feel a little sad about the idea that people are so reluctant to speak to people if it’s not online or if they’re not drunk first.

I think many people I’ve met seem to be waiting for the dream to come to them, waiting for the solution to just walk into the room. And I’m not sure that’s the way to go about it. I’m not saying that it’s not okay if you simply haven’t figured out a direction for your life yet, because it is. But I do think it’s good to take time to figure out what it is you do or don’t want, however you want to go about it, because it allows you to make more valuable use of your time.

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3 thoughts on “I Know What I Want

  1. Nobody really wants to use Tinder, but people use this and similar apps because interactions today with other individuals are often can be confusing, full of conflict, and plain awkward. This especially true for relationships that are potentially romantic, so people need a barrier for their self-esteem – be it alcohol or a screen. I also don’t think that people really want to use social media in general, but do so because they want to connect with people. The sad thing is that it almost feels as trying to connect with someone in real life in an organic way has become inappropriate in some ways, so it has to be through some sort of platform like Tinder or whatever else. I don’t like it, but it seems like we’re put into out little boxes our social circles are so limited to our jobs, our families, or people we used to go to school with. Of course you can go to a loud and packed bar and hope to meet someone on the same page as you (unlikely in that kind of environment), but not everyone wants to do it. I don’t think technology has helped people connect in all that positive of a way if you think about it.

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  2. This really is a different post, and I love it! I also know what I want, where I want to work and live, what family I want to have, hell, I even know how I want to decorate my house that I don’t even have haha I also want to meet my boyfriend like a normal old-fashioned person. I want to have nice talks, walks and all that.
    It’s good to know what you want cause then you can work your way towards it. Also, I totally agree on the uni/college life. However, we had that schedule and requirements that we’re not allowed to have ‘an expected uni life’ and I’m both glad and pissed off about it haha

    xo Honey – blog Royal Lifestyle – Twitter – Instagram

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    1. Thank you so much, I’m glad you liked it! I also know how I want my future house to look 😂 right down to a secret writing room… Ah, see I barely have contact hours at uni – at most 10ish a week! Nice to know someone else knows what they want too 😊 xx

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